Have you ever wanted to change someone? Does that sound too controlling? How about, have you ever wanted to motivate someone to do something positive in their life?
There are essentially two ways to help motivate someone. The first, motivate someone through the pain of discipline. The old school coach or teacher that is convinced that yelling and intensity of speech will do the trick is an example of negative motivation. This approach has an upside and that is helping one see their blind spots or their negative areas in hopes that they can improve upon them. The downside is when a spouse does this they becoming about annoying as a dripping faucet (Proverbs 19:13).
The second way to motivate someone is to use the power of blessing. Blessing someone respects who they are as a person and pulls out their poteHave you ever wanted to change someone? Does that sound too controlling? How about, have you ever wanted to motivate someone to do something positive in their life?ntial.
Blessing for change in parenting, marriage and leadership is powerful. It’s actually the premise of the gospel. The gospel exemplifies this by giving us what we don’t deserve, when we don’t deserve it, to motivate us to overcome where we deserve judgement.
In Luke 3, Jesus gets baptized by John the Baptist. Jesus is submerged under the river and as He rises the voice of God the Father declares, “This is my beloved Son in who I am well pleased.” Jesus hadn’t started his ministry yet. He hadn’t done anything yet other then get baptized. The Father blessed Jesus before He earned the affirmation.
There’s a place for discipline. Love isn’t ooshy gooshy all the time. “Love doesn’t rejoice in evil, but rejoice in the truth (1 Corinthians 13). Sometimes the truth is a hard pill to swallow.
How do you motivate others? How are you motivated most effectively?
What if parents blessed their kids even in areas of weakness before they earned it and the kids rose up to the level of that blessing? What if people reach as high as they are blessed?
Shia Lebeouf was told by his mom as a toddler that he would one day meet Steven Spielberg and he ended up working with him. While a controversial figure at times, he rose to the level of his parents blessing.
Phil Knight, founder and former CEO of Nike shoes was a young man that literally sought his father’s blessing to take a journey around the world and pitch an idea to a Japanese business so that he could start a shoe company. I don’t need to elaborate on the success of Nike or Phil Knight to know that he rose to the level of his father’s blessing.
Take some Bible history, the controversial character Jacob, who had to manipulate and lie to his Dad Isaac to receive the blessing of the firstborn belonging to his older brother Esau. Jacob became Israel. The blessing of His dad while he was a liar caused his whole world to change. He went from a name meaning manipulator or supplanter to a name meaning prince. He’s a patriarch. He rose to the level of his father’s blessing.
I’m telling you that there is something to the power of blessing for change. I remember being so broken over my addiction to pornography and feeling like my whole life was going to be a failure. Then my dad stepped in and wrote this letter to me around Mother’s Day 2001 (he wrote a letter to my mom and siblings as well). I still go back to the letter sometimes because it was a full on assault to the shame that I was carrying.
What if you blessed your spouse to change, even when they didn’t deserve it? Your kids? Your employees? I’m not a pie in the sky kind of positive guy that thinks we should ignore problems at all costs. That’s fatal to put your head in the sand while something is hemorrhaging. And while we all need a little discipline, have we ignored the power of blessing?